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15 Pearls of Wisdom from a Former Bride 

Everyone really wants to do up their wedding a little bit better than their friends, pay no attention to them. This is your special day. And at the end of the day, it’s not going to matter whether or not the cake had buttercream frosting or if you mussed up on your choreography on the dance floor, it’s the love that you have for each other and that’s the main event of all.

Take it from my experiences and learn from my wisdom.

1. If you have a champagne taste on a prosecco budget, don’t even bother getting a subscription to The Knot. All of the talk of multi layer display of flowers, sculptures, fancy dance moves and exotic venues seem dreamy but all cost money. A beautiful wedding doesn’t have to be lavish.

2. Don’t compare yourself to others. This complicates things which adds stress. Do your friends honestly need a chocolate fountain for the tenth time? Probably not.

3. Keep things simple and within your budgets. Simple doesn’t have to be tacky, but scaling back from complicated projects can reduce your stress and his.

4. Things will go perfectly, things will go terribly. But refrain from journaling it on social media. Trust me, your feed will be talking.

5. This is the first big organizational task you both will have together among many others (birthday parties, house parties, anniversary parties, etc.) It sets a tone for how the rest of your life will go.

6. Take care of yourself. Eat the foods that make you feel and look good, break a sweat but don’t get become obsessive and get your check-ups and pencil in a massage.

7. Take premarital counseling seriously. It can be a blessing and save you on your rainy days. Also, don’t bluff it and say things are fine. If things were always fine, counseling would not exist. This is a new experience for both of you and with that, accept any help or advice from those who has been there with grace.

8. You don’t have to wear your mother’s, mother in law’s, godmother’s or aunt’s wedding dress nor will you get twenty years of bad luck for declining the offer. You will probably get asked about it and you can just say something along the lines of, “Thank you. I’m honored you think of me that way. It’s a generous offer, but I’d like to wear something that reflects my personal style.”

My wedding flats which were made of cruelty free materials.

9. Many people will ask you how’s the planning process, but you’re not obliged to always answer them in detail. Pay attention to motives too. Most people are sell intentioned but will only listen without offering to help. If that’s the case, be polite but you do not have to answer for your every move.

10. Take in every moment and snap pictures. These are the times you want to remember.

11. You don’t need a horse drawn carriage unless you’re getting married in the park. Or necessarily a witty hashtag if you can’t think of one, for that matter. Don’t stress over the small stuff.

12. If the ceremony is longer than twenty minutes or different, absolutely have booklets to hand out to guests so they can follow along. In the Orthodox church, our service was over an hour so we had booklets for everyone.

13. So many guests know it’s your day, but it’s even nicer when you’re thinking of your guests too. Keep in mind dietary restrictions. We had several vegan guests so I made sure that they would be fixed a separate platter from the kitchen with custom dessert. They were totally appreciative of this. Otherwise, it’s easy to feel excluded.

14. Realize that your bridesmaids have lives and jobs too. They aren’t assistants, secretaries, slaves or minions. Treat them as to how you want to be treated because you may find yourself a bridesmaid as well someday.

15. Even after our wedding day, I feel more in love with my husband. That’s how it should feel. A wedding is the celebration but neither of you should fall any less out of love afterwards.

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